It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
