Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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