The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
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