thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
