She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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