i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
