I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
My balls are so social today.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
