Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
