hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
where am i from again
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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