I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
