Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
