"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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