Yo dont text me then not text me
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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