i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
