You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
