Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
