I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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