Can Purell be used as lube?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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