READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
