I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
the room spins SO much faster in panama
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just blew my weed a kiss
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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