Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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