Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Is it because I queefed?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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