Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
In America we eat man semen.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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