there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
