respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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