whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
