I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
