sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
