So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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