WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
