If i could tip my vagina, i would.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
