Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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