Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
