conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She announced her abortion via fbk
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
