youre lurking in front of me
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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