Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
