We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
