So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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