Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
