I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
