i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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