Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
