Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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