im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
