remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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