But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
