So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
