he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
