You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
