Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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